Me too!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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