There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
