My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Small penises have feelings too.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
