Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize