I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
