why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I am available for nakedness
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
