Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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