i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
