so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
my sisters under your porch take her home
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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