I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
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He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
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Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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