To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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