She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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