dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
