I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
