dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize