im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
