hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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