just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
