he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
