Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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