Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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