Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
