He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
