U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
