i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.