it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
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she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
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Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Let's get the cat blown out
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina