it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.