when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize