that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i dont even know how to be here
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
