I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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