I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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