So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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