i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
God, I missed his penis.
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