Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
