he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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