woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
