This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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