What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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