you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize