I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Randomize
