never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
