lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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