you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
