That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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