You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
