69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
