i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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