Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
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Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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