Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
