I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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