does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
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when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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