shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
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In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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