I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
