hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
