So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
