i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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