whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
that may or may not have been my penis.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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